Decoded: Three Kings

Mind blowing, this is Kurt Cobain. I’ve just been crowned/
The artist formerly known as Prince, feel the purple reign/
Of the new king, this a new, monarchy/
You can never beat me, I am not, Rodney/
Can’t box me in, I’m a Don, I don’t fight fair/
The new Martin Luther, but instead I’ll give you nightmares/
Three kings. You’ll never oppress us or test us/
You jokers are merely the court jesters/
I got more African Queens than Mswati it seems/
In my bath they making sure the royal penis is clean/
Klarity is the team, we’re the meanest with schemes/
We come to bring the noise while y’all be Mr. Beans/
Three kings with a sick flow – Royal flush!/
All will hush, while we spit so schizo/
When we on tracks and speak things, we’re beasting/
Y’all are weaklings, with cheap bling, we’re Three Kings!

Mind blowing, this is Kurt Cobain
Kurt Cobain was the legendary lead singer of the alternative rock group Nirvana. His genius was held in such high esteem his music could be called mind blowing. He was hopelessly addicted to cocaine (also known as ‘blow’) and had to be taken into rehab. Thus his mind was always under the influence of blow. Kurt Cobain escaped from rehab and was later found in a motel having committed suicide by placing a gun in his mouth and blowing his brains out. With three different interpretations, the opening line of my verse achieves the elusive triple entendre, which in itself is mind-blowing perhaps 🙂

I’ve just been crowned The Artist formerly known as Prince
The concept of this song was to rotate around being one of 3 Kings. Well before the King takes to the throne, he is born a prince and is known as a prince until he wears the crown. Also, during the 90s the musician Prince changed his name to an unpronounceable symbol. So people took to calling him The Artist Formerly Known As Prince. This fact becomes more relevant with the next line.

Feel the purple reign, of the new king, this a new monarchy
Purple is the official colour of royalty. Thus I am referring to my royal reign as one of the three kings. Also, Purple Rain is the title of Prince’s most successful album. Prince was a legend in his musical genre as was Kurt Cobain and hopefully Enygma will be remembered just as fondly in UG Hip-Hop. Therefore, I have subtly  referred to us as 3 kings in our respective musical fields, keeping in line with the main theme of the song.

You can never beat me, I am not Rodney
Rodney King was famously brutally beaten by baton wielding cops in LA for no reason and even though the violence was filmed, the courts let the cops go. So they in effect also beat him in the courtroom. So I am distancing myself from this ‘King’ that I am not like him, I cannot be beaten.

Can’t box me in, I’m a Don, I don’t fight fair
Don King is probably the most famous boxing promoter of all time. Well known for his shady dealings (in his businesses and especially with the way he arranged boxing matches) and even went to prison for killing a man after bringing a knife to a fist fight. To be boxed in is to be pressured into a corner. But in this line I’m saying that I would become as cunning as Don King if I had to. I used the terms ‘boxed in’ and ‘fight fair’ because of Don King’s role as a boxing promoter. In addition to this, a Don is a term used to describe a boss of a criminal gang like The Mafia. Dons definitely do not fight fair and never let themselves be boxed in. Dons are also Kings in their own right.

The new Martin Luther, but instead I’ll give you nightmares
Martin Luther King’s was an extremely eloquent man and his most famous speech was called I Have a Dream. I compare my writing skills to him, but I’m so ominous that instead of dreams, I give people nightmares 🙂

Three Kings
I mentioned Rodney, Don and Martin Luther. These 3 famous black men of history all bear the surname ‘King’. Thus 3 Kings, keeping in line with the song’s concept and perhaps foreshadowing that the Klarity Team will also end up as 3 famous black men in history.

You’ll never oppress us, or test us. You jokers are merely the court jesters
A joker is a way of referring to an individual as being unserious. A Joker is also found in deck of cards where you will also find some Kings. In the olden days, before Satellite TV or internet, a King always had a jester in his royal court to provide entertainment. These were pretty much clowns who sang, danced, told jokes etc.. for the amusement of the King and his guests. Thus they provided entertainment but were nothing more than jokers and bowed to the whims of the king. This is how I rate my opponents and I am a King in comparison.

I got more African Queens, than Mswati it seems
King Mswati of Swaziland is renowned for his annual weddings. Thousands of women from all over the country compete every year to become his queens. I suggest that I am more popular with the ladies than even he 🙂 African Queen was the breakthrough single of Nigerian singer 2Face Idibia. But I will not explain the relevance of that line. I’ve got to keep some secrets 🙂

In my bath they making sure the royal penis is clean
One of my favourite movies of all time is Eddie Murphy’s Coming To America. One of the stand out scenes was when Eddie Murphy (an African prince) was in an enormous bath tub being bathed by some beauties. Then one emerged from under the water to declare that the royal penis was now clean. How she cleaned it was left to our imagination. Aside from that, there is also another personal reason why I referenced this movie and it shall also remain secret.

Klarity is the team, we’re the meanest with schemes
Schemes being cunning plans and also with clever rhyme schemes in our verses. I also happened to insert this particular line right in the middle of such a rhyme scheme.

We come to bring the noise, while y’all be Mr. Beans
Mr. Bean was always quiet in his movies and almost never ever made a sound let alone speak. So as Klarity, we are causing a ruckus with our movement and being noticed while our opponents are as silent as Mr. Bean.

Three Kings with a sick flow – Royal flush!
Here I come back and refer to the members of Klarity and how our style of rapping is outstanding. Those who are familiar with the rules of poker know that the strongest hand you can have is a Royal Flush and one of the combinations of cards that make up a Royal Flush includes having three kings. This is another way of saying that Klarity is the strongest team you can have (this reference to playing cards was quietly brought up in the line about the jokers). In addition, when a toilet is ‘flushed’, there is normally something nasty in there being washed away by the flow of the water. Sick flow…

All will hush, while we spit so schizo
Schizophrenia refers to a severe pschotic disorder. Schizophrenics are commonly called schizo for short. This is just a way of saying that the way we spit out are rhymes is insane, psycho! And when we spit our insane lyrics, all will hush ie. we make our opponents shut up. This is a continuation of the Mr. Bean analogy from a previous line.

When we on tracks and speak things, we’re beasting, y’all are weaklings..
A beast is a powerful creature. Thus, when you are beasting, then you are dominant in your craft. While our opponents are the opposite, instead of being dominant and powerful by beasting, they are weaklings.

With cheap bling, we’re Three Kings!
We are three kings, and kings are often seen dressed in royal jewels, the best money can buy. In comparison our opponents are dressed in cheap bling. This is again a metaphor for the difference in skill level between us and them.

 

Listen to the song here http://www.reverbnation.com/open_graph/song/12176487

Boos For Booze Blues

Being somehow involved in the entertainment industry carries a side-effect of regularly finding yourself at events and nightspots. Some people I know are like Dracula and literally live for the night life. Me, not so much. This often entails the usual perks such as complimentary VIP tickets, exemption from the virginity depriving sexual assault that is the security frisk and access to booze. Lots of booze.

Slow dance outside the club…

So I find myself in the awkward situation where some flammable fluid is filled in a glass in front of me. I politely decline, hoping that will be the end of that. But I am then presented with a range of other intoxicating options, “Pick your poison” is the challenge. Leaving me wondering where the alternative is for those of us wishing to remain healthy. I found it and asked for water.

“As a chaser? What are you having it with?” I enlighten my inquisitor that some mammals have been known to consume mere water as a satisfactory method of thirst alleviating sustenance.

“What?! Noooo! You have to have a real drink! You have to have fun!” But I’ve never tasted alcohol my whole life. Is it possible that all this time I have never experienced fun?

“But how can you enjoy yourself just drinking water? Kale you’re not serious. Is it because of religion? Nga I’ve seen some Muslims drinking! Why don’t you?” Erm, because I’m not them?

And this type of exchange goes on back and forth and my oppressors are never fully satisfied. Suddenly I am eyed with suspicion and conversations become awkward. This occurs probably every other week causing me to wonder why on earth are people so offended by the existence of teetotallers? Somehow we are perceived as pariahs of the party scene! I understand that Uganda is ranked No.1 by the World Health Organisation in alcohol consumption per capita, but that should not mean that those not contributing to these statistics should be bullied into conformity. What happened to live and let live? Sometimes it feels like those who choose to stay sober are persecuted for their lifestyle choice even more than homosexuals!

Hits That Are Sh**

Sometimes I hate the music industry. Even hip-hop nowadays. Turn on the radio or TV and you’ll find there’s something in common with the big hits that are dominating the airwaves. They’re obsessed with sexing bitches, selling drugs, getting high, wasteful spending, shooting guns and worst of all, fashion. Rearrange the letters that form ‘hits’ and you’ll know what I think about that. Emperor Obama in a recent interview said that he is in love with the art of hip-hop, although he does not always agree with the messages in hip-hop. I find this is one of the few occasions I agree with the imperialist.

Boring…

Hip-hop music is a beautiful artform. A level of poetic expression, the brilliance of which is not matched by any other genre of music. But how wasteful can we be if we spend all our time rapping about Red Bottom heels? Or how much money you spend in the club? Or how much weed you smoke? Okay, for the sake of art, perhaps you want to do a couple of tracks like that to get them off your chest. But how can your entire catalogue be about f***ing bitches, like Texan rapper Too $hort?

What concerns me though is that the trend is slowly creeping into Uganda. I get a lot of young aspiring MCs hitting me up and asking my advice on the lyrics they’ve written. A lot of the time, they are writing about some of the nonsense I’ve mentioned above. And who can blame these young impressionable minds when this is all that is played on TV and radio? Of course they will assume that you have to be exactly like Young Money if you want to be successful.

Over masturbation can cause semen to glue your fingers into weird positions.

I’m not suggesting that every rapper should turn into a conscious revolutionary struggle type MC like K’naan. I’m not an MC known for making predominantly conscious tracks either. But please let us have a little more diversity in the tracks we make, there are so many subjects under the sun. But more importantly, let us have a lot less negative messages influencing the minds of young talented up and coming MCs and their listeners.

How NOT To Love

One of the great things about being an (able) artist, is the adulation bestowed upon us by adoring fans. I can’t even pretend to be humble about it right now, it really is quite nice. Just picture for a moment being a teller at Stanbic Bank and receiving an email from a customer just to let you know that the cheque you cleared helped her to pay school fees in time for her son to sit his final exams and this has brought happiness and joy to them both. Or perhaps you are a traffic cop and you find a couple of young lads waiting for your shift to end so that they may recount with you how moved they were by the masterful way by which you controlled traffic and that they wish to be like you one day. We all deserve appreciation for a job well done whatever line of work we may happen to be in.

However, sometimes I feel as if rules and regulations should be introduced to govern the function of praise giving. It is very common for someone to insult you deeply and irreparably while they are actually genuinely attempting to extol your virtues. I’ve had people telling me I’m “Wow! Great like Rick Ross” or that I have “nice relics like Real Wearn.” Anybody who has been paying attention would know that I-Am an enemy of MMG* and YMCMB** respectively. I actively detest these two ‘artists’ to the extent that I recorded a diss track for Lil Wayne way back in 2009. If President Museveni was in the middle of a hardcore chaw and his lady, while marvelling at his physique and strength, were to say, “Wow your thighs are so strong! You must do a lot of walking like Besigye.” I suspect that the love session would come to a premature end. She could try all she wants to make up for the stress with an offer of massage, but I guarantee that story will not have a happy ending.

With the economy so tight that he has to walk to work, Besigye supplements his income by filling in for me when I’m on leave.

So people, please be a little informed when dishing out compliments. You may indirectly be dropping nuclear warhead insults instead. Oh wow, Zari has just walked past! I’m a big fan! I need to rush over and tell her how she’s as beautiful to me as Judith Heard…

*MMG=Maybach Music Group, which is headed by Rick Ross.
**YMCMB=Young Money Cash Money Billionaires, aka Young Money Entertainment which was founded by Lil Wayne.