Thursday mid-morning in Garden City. I had just completed devouring a Chicken Shawarma (I’m no glutton, it was time for brunch!) from Food Court and was making my way out via the elevators. Yeah I’m using the elevator to go down two flights, so what? When I visit the mall I’m going to get my absolute money’s worth! Sure there’s no entrance fee, but that Shawarma (plus soda water) cost 12k! A rolex would have been 10% of that. I know the Shawarma was so exorbitantly priced due to prohibitive overheads such as the rent. The rental charges would have taken into account access to facilities such as elevators. Therefore, if I do not use the lift every time I pay for something in Garden City, I am allowing myself to be a willing victim of a robbery!
I entered the lift on Floor 2 and found a lady inside. The number ’1′ had a red circular glow wrapped around it betraying her destination. I parked in the basement so I pressed ’0′. You know that awkward silence when you’re in the lift? When you don’t know whether you’re supposed to say hi, or maybe just nod gently to acknowledge recognition of a fellow sentient being in the vicinity? The law seems to be that everyone is supposed to ignore each other and lift their heads to stare at the numbers as they count down (or up) to your floor. Farting is discouraged. I ignored all the above options and buried my head into my Galaxy Tab so that I could wrap up this blog post and avoid the merciless sting of Matooke Nation’s horsewhip.
The doors slid open on Floor 1. I marched out triumphantly. As soon as I looked up from my Tab, horror gripped my heart as I realised that I was on the wrong floor. What do I do? I’ve already moved too far away from the lift that turning back with my tail tucked firmly between my legs as I scurry back into the vertical metal coffin was not an option! The ego in me had to pretend that I knew exactly what I was doing when I stormed out of the elevator doors, despite the lady having witnessed me pressing the ’0′! I continued with purpose walking further and further away from my car but also, most importantly, from humiliation.
“I just wanna get lifted…”
This reminds me of a punchline from a verse I recorded on the ‘Warrior Remix’ a couple of weeks ago with O.P.U. and Sulfuric.
“I hate fear/
I’m a Braveheart, William. Cos I’m a Warrior with the wordplay, I shake spears/
Similar to Shaka Zulu when I see you haters/
You’ll fear for your life like when Straka enters your elevator.”
You can hear Warrior Remix here…
http://www.reverbnation.com/open_graph/song/12764886
I am Enygma 
hmmm,shake spears,huh?
way 2 go bruh
Thanks for noticing 🙂